the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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