i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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