why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
