She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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