girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
