i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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