Sry I called you an 8
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
