I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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