I just cut my nipple shaving
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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