I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
