SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
