hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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