i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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