how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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