But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she peed on how many people?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize