It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
