you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
