4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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