shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
