I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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