My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
