Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
