why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
