i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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