Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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