do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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