Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
