My nipple is on Facebook.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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