You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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