put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
