please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
