remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
