thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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