I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
