24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
