I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
