i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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