FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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