he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
