I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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