was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
