When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize