Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
