one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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