Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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