she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
