At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize