you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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