all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
