I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
