so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
