"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
