p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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