the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
