Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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