I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
