Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
