had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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