DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
