giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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