So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
