At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
