You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
