Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
