My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
