Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
