We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
someone owes me an orgasm
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize