hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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